Ashlyn (age 7)

“Daddy my toenails are like Rapunzel’s hair!”

Ashlyn (age 6)

“Daddy, your phone just farted.”

Lexi (age 8)

“I am as happy as a cupcake in a rainbow!”

Ashlyn (age 6)

Me (just woken up): “What time is it?”
Ash: “I dunno, I’m not the boss of what time it is?”

Ashlyn (age 4)

Ash: “It’s not a bird poop problem.”

Ashlyn (age 4)

Ash: “I need a band-aid on my tongue!”

Ashlyn (age 3)

Ash: “I kissed a girl and I liked it!”

Lexi (age 5)

Lexi: “I ate so many pancakes today it feels like Thanksgiving!”

Ashlyn (age 3) – Looking out window

Ashlyn: “Daddy, Uncle Joel has a pretty Jeep!”

Lexi (age 5) – At the Market

Me: “Lexi you’re barely eating any of your hotdog?”
Lexi: “It’s gross!”
Me: “What’s wrong with it?”
Lexi: “I don’t know, it must be Blue Menu!”

Ashlyn (age 3) – Random

Ashlyn: “Daddy? What’s a weed whacker?”

Lexi (age 5) – camping

Lexi: “Daddy the next time we go shopping can I get a T-Shirt that says I LOVE SMOKIES?”

Lexi (age 5)

Shan: “We need to brush your hair before birds build a nest in there!”
Lexi: “Birds are really going to build a nest in my hair?”
Shan: “No it’s just a funny way to say we need to brush your hair.”
Lexi: “Like a figure of speech?”

Lexi (age 5)

Lexi: “Daddy, how come you drive a van and not a Jeep?”
Me: “Exactly!”

Ashlyn (age 3)

Ashlyn: “If the Hulk ever came to my house I would give him a hug.”

Lexi (age 5)

Shan: “Ashlyn, what good manners you have!”
Lexi: “I have good manners too mommy, and good breath!”

Lexi (age 5) – stalling at bedtime:

Lexi: “But daddy I can’t go to bed yet (looking around), I don’t even know how cups are made!”

Lexi (age 4) – after work while playing “GO FISH”:

Lexi: “Don’t you have to poop yet?”

Lexi (age 4)

Me: “Lex, leave Mommy’s make-up brush in the bathroom.”
Lexi: “But daddy I am playing with it.”
Me: “You don’t need make-up your beautiful without it.”
Lexi: “and Mommy isn’t?”

Lexi (age 4)

Lexi: “Remember that time I got bit by a shark?”
Me: “Ummmm not really?”
Lexi: “Hmm must’ve been a dream.”

Lexi (age 4) – during a dance party Ashlyn spun herself around until she was really dizzy and then ran head first into the wall.

Lexi: “I think she was trying to pass through it.”

Lexi (age 4) – on the way to daycare in the van:

Lexi: “Daddy look, a squirrel shadow…”
Me: “WHERE?”
Lexi: “Ya missed it.”

Lexi (age 4) – she gets me with this all the time:

Me: “Who wants dessert?”
Both kids: “WE DO!”
Lexi: “you know who doesn’t want dessert?”
Me: “who?”
Lexi: “Aliens!”

Lexi (age 4) – driving home from daycare:

Me: “Hey look, papa is behind us. I wonder where he is going?”
Lexi: Maybe he is going to clean our house.”

Lexi (age 4) – at dinner:

Me: “Good manners Ashlyn.”
Lexi: “You know who doesn’t have good manners daddy?”
Me: “who?”
Lexi: “Aliens!”
Me: “How come?”
Lexi: “Because they don’t swim.”

Lexi (age 3) – at bedtime:

Me: “Goodnight sweet girl, when you wake up in the morning you will be 4!”
Lexi: I’m going to miss my 3’s!”

Lexi (age 3) – sitting on the toilet:

Lexi: “Counting toes makes you have to pee.”

Lexi (age 3) – unprovoked:

Lexi: “Why do we need toes?”

Lexi (age 3) – getting out of the tub:

Lexi: “I’m frozen salted.”

Lexi (age 3)

Lexi: “I ate so many strawberries today my eyes hurt.”