Peever.org

Author - peever

Dad

My dad used to do this thing at the dinner table that is literally burned into my memory. After supper, he would always have a cup of hot tea. He’d bring it back to the table, add a little milk and sugar, and give it a little stir. Then he would randomly pull out the burning hot teaspoon and casually rest it on my arm or hand until I noticed. I would scream and then we would all laugh. It never got old and this went on well into my adult years.

Family is everything to my dad and he would do anything for us. He used to “tuck us in” at night and if I was cold he would lie across my blankets until they warmed up and was careful not to crush me. We had meetings in the bathroom that mom and Marcy would just never understand and despite a nagging back issue I always had someone to throw the ball with. I remember being like 11 years old playing football in the front yard with my friends and my dad was returning a big kick-off. He pumped a couple of fakes, juked left when he should have juked right, and then down on the grass hard. I remember him lying there on the grass holding his knee when I heard the front window slide open and my mom pressing her face up against the screen – “yooooooou aaaaaaasshole!” she said.

Marcy & head-to-head football

I watched him like a hawk on the weekends doing yard work on that double lot we used to have on Handyside. Mowing that football field of a yard dripping sweat and then still making sure to do the Thorpes. He also did their walk in the winter and made sure the public sidewalk was clean in front of our house. He looked after people like nobody I have ever known and always put the needs of others before his own.

During my glory days, I played hardball for Glenwood CC with the likes of Riel, Clarke, Dowhy, Boychuck, and Serridilla. I used to pitch some games and my dad would find a spot tucked right behind the umpire and every time I was locked into a full count with a batter, or 2 strikes in, I could hear him yell “THAT’S THE ONE…” as soon as I launched off the mound. Didn’t matter what I threw, the batter would swing and I had so many strikeouts that year. Guys on the team always wanted to ride with us after the game because he would take us all for Slurpees! I come by that naturally.

We never had a lot of money but I don’t remember ever going without. I don’t know how many quarters he gave me growing up to play video games at George’s Burgers at the end of the street (enough to finish Double Dragon and master Karate Champ). He even took us to the Ex every year and we all know what a rip-off that can be. He replaced every hockey stick I ever broke. I sometimes found money in my jeans before school if I needed something off the grid. School supplies were sponsored by Manitoba Hydro and we had all the colors of white-out.

The old Hydro truck & Granny Peever

Relationships were his currency and friendships were gold. He would do anything for his people and it seemed like they were always there for him. The furnace is broken? He called a friend. Need a sidewalk poured? He called a friend. Need a tree cut down? The list goes on. It wasn’t until I was older and I would walk into a place to rent a tool and they would see my last name and ask if I was related to Brian Peever. “Just take it…” they would say, “your dad does a lot for us”. When I went for my driver’s test I was met by this huge man who would be taking me on my road test. When it was complete, he said I did really well and started to fill out my paperwork. “Peever?” he said. “Are you related to Brian Peever by chance?” – Then he went on to tell me about a time some guy was giving him a hard time at a pool hall and my dad stepped in. Told me he was badass back in the day and I was like “my dad?”. Sweetest guy I know!

When I say he would do anything for Marcy and me, it was almost to a fault. You almost had to watch what you said around him because he would always want to help. One time I told him I really liked his new padded toilet seat and a couple of days later I came home after work to find ours had been replaced. He would pop into our house while we were at work to “let the dogs out” he would say. Sometimes it was multiple times a day and we always came home to a tidy house with dishes put away and kitchen swept. All the poop in the yard was taken care of. In the summer he would mow the lawn and in the winter he would clear the driveway the best he could. It didn’t matter how many times we told him not to bother. One time we were heading out somewhere and we saw Papa in his car at the stop sign at the corner. We gave him a wave as we drove off and I said “I wonder where Papa is going?” and without missing a beat Ashlyn said, “he’s probably going to clean our house!”.

He would leave the girls treats and little messages. When Lexi started coming home for lunches he started bringing her McDonalds on Fridays so they could have a little visit. He loved the dogs and they loved seeing him even on weekends when he dropped in with donuts the dogs would go bonkers and he would pull something out of his pockets for them. In fact, when we were going through his things I opened up the top drawer on his dresser and there was a sock toy ready to go for them. It was just like him to leave something behind for “his puppies”.

He used to pull up in the driveway and pop his hatch and he would have all kinds of things in there. Stuff that people had given him, or things that he had for other people. It could be anything! “You need a vacuum?” and he would pull one out of the back of his car. When he would take Marcy shopping he would wait in the car and drive around the lot looking to see what people forgot in their carts. “You’d be amazed what I have found in carts…” he would tell me, “will you guys eat these pizza pops?”.

My dad was a guardian angel to so many people. If I believed in all that stuff I would say he was put on this earth to take care of people. He told me about how he used to look after his grandpa Bannister when he was battling cancer. It seemed like such a huge responsibility at such a young age. As a kid, we would go to visit my grandma Phillips and he had such great banter with her. He affectionately nicknamed her “Shorty”. When she was in the care home fighting dementia he used to visit her at least a couple of times per week and would do things like trim her nails and comb her hair. Maintained her dignity and I always thought about how special their bond was. I went with him often to visit Art and Tilley and after Art passed away he would often check in on Tilley to make sure she was doing well. He would often drive Marcy to bingo where he met Lil and he soon became a friend and caregiver for her as well. Driving her to appointments and taking her shopping became a part of his regular routine. He took care of people, that’s what he did.

He took care of my mom for many years and saw her through her aneurysm and knee surgery. Taking on the cooking and cleaning for two as she continues her battle with fibromyalgia. He loved her unconditionally through all 50+ years of blissful marriage. He would visit Marcy almost every day and would bring her coffee and take her out to run errands, buy lottery tickets, and just hang out. He was my “go-to” if I forgot my lunch or Ashlyn needed dry clothes at school because she “fell in a puddle”. He spent nights sleeping on my couch while we were away so that the dogs wouldn’t be alone overnight. He was always there and you don’t even realize how much you take that for granted.

50th Anniversary

When we realized he had cancer it was all so sudden. None of us were prepared. He put on a brave face for all of us in true dad fashion and took it head-on. He continued to make his rounds, oxygen in tow until he was physically unable to do so. His independence was everything to him because without it he felt like a burden. It was our time to take care of him and he would hardly let me drive him to his radiation appointments. His sisters and family were there for him sending love and food and he would say “you don’t have to do that.”. He never wanted people to fuss over him. The day before he passed he got in his car and drove over to Marcy’s place for a drop-in just like any other day. For some reason, this time he stayed for a couple of hours and Marcy made them both breakfast. The following night he fell asleep in his chair watching TV and never woke up. Independent to the end, just how he would have wanted it.

I found a book I gave him for fathers day 10-15 years ago and it was the kind that gives you a sentence and you have to fill in the blanks. On page 32 I found this…

In my teens, my dad used to take me to Garry’s Billiards on Pembina for some good father-son time. From what I understand he used to spend a lot of time (and money) at the pool hall in his teens and it was there he taught me how to play Snooker. One of the things he said to me while lining up a shot I will never forget. He said…

“It’s not what you take, it’s what you leave.”

Looking back now I can see this is as much about Snooker as it is about life.

Love you dad.

The Tree of Life

I found this tree one morning at Blue Lake when I decided to lie down on top of a random picnic table before the campground was awake. My mind has been so full lately that processing anything has been such a task and I really just wanted some quiet time alone with myself.

At first, I didn’t see anything. I just laid there on my back and stretched out my body, working out the aches that come with sleeping in a tent for a couple of nights in a row. I raised my arms over my head and felt a surge of pain in my right shoulder leftover from an old dancing injury. I struggled to bring my hands together as I extended past the edge of the table and relied solely on my own strength for support.

I closed my eyes for a bit and pulled my arm back in to ease off the pain as it has become such commonplace. When I opened my eyes all I could see was the tops of the trees and they immediately personified against the backdrop of the smokey-blue sky. Metaphorically each tree seemed to resemble a human life. At the top (the beginning) there were bursts and clusters of action like fireworks! Strong memorable moments of firsts, accomplishments, and relationships sparking a range of emotions in all directions. Looking at that tree like a timeline I reveled at the picture it painted of my own life and how full it has been.

Looking down the tree those bursts became more sparse. Still hits of happiness and joy but seemingly less. When I think about getting older and what that looks like it seems like those bursts come from the family you have built around you. Seeing your children succeed, attending a wedding, a grandchild. Eventually, you have lived your life to the fullest and your cup is full and memories are what feeds you.

I think the tricky part for anyone is knowing where you fall on this tree so you can fully appreciate those sparks. Claw your way as close to the top as possible until your body just won’t have it and know that you have loved as much as you are loved.

Thanks Tree.

Walter Gretzky

Heaven is a better place today and it seems like I have been saying that a lot lately. More and more peever.org is quickly becoming my personal obituary. Maybe more of a place to remember people in my life that will always be missed.

I hardly even remember the year I met Walter Gretzky (pre kids). We were planning a trip to visit our good friends Mel and Jeff in Wellesley for New Years and Jeff promised to take me to see the house where Gretzky grew up.

I remember being really nervous for some reason too. When we first arrived Jeff pulled up to the house and parked out front and we all just stared out the window of the car. Jeff was egging me to get out so that I could get my picture taken in the front driveway. There was some hesitation but I finally got out and I think I was taking one of Shan when Walter stepped out on the front steps and politely asked “Hey whatcha doing?”

Of course, we didn’t know what to say and asked his permission to take a couple of photos in front of the house. It wasn’t cell phone days so we had the old school cameras and Jeff’s was as big as Walter’s mailbox. He must have thought we were the press!

Next thing we know Walter invites us into the house “for a visit”. It’s all a blur after that but I do recall sitting in the living room “visiting” and I tried to tell Walter the story of when I met Wayne in Toronto, in his restaurant and Walter wasn’t having any of it. “Wayne who?” he said. Then he told us all about his golf game the other day and this one drive that went for days.

He showed us around the house a little bit and introduced us to Glen who I think may have been just visiting. Glen wasn’t very happy to see us and said something like “…he does this all the time…just don’t take anything” – which is funny because Jeff and I were both eyeballing the TV guide with the Gretzky address sticker on the cover. WHAT? They were just going to throw it out anyway!

We thanked Walter for having us and insisted that we should be on our way and not take up any more of his time. Before we left he insisted that we get some photos around his Christmas tree with Santa. He orchestrated the shots for all of telling us where to stand and seemingly enjoying the whole experience. Then he suggested we finish up the pictures we started outside and posed for a couple out there.

Sidenote: Since that day I have heard all kinds of stories like this so I know I am not special. But Walter is. To say he was GREAT is an understatement.

Thanks for the memories Walter.


100th Meridian

I love the Tragically Hip.

I don’t love that the remaining members of what used to be the Tragically Hip are suing Mill Street Brewery for a beer Mill Street trademarked “100th Meridian Organic Amber Lager” over six years ago.

The former band claims that fans are being misled and are confused in thinking that the beer is in some way associated with the band. So what? When I saw the beer it immediately took me back to every semi-sober Roadside Attraction, arm-in-arm with my besties, belting out the chorus in unison “…at the hundredth meridian…where the great plains begin…”.

Gord, Johnny, Paul, Rob, thanks for the memories. Name a song and I have a memory to go with it, a connection, and a feeling. The playlist of my youth that I am forever grateful for. Mind if I buy my beer now?

The former Hip is suing Mill Street because guys like me might buy that beer simply because of its name and what it means to them. Why should Mill Street benefit from a visceral reaction deeply influenced by The Tragically Hip and good old Canadian geography?

Because “100th Meridian Organic Amber Lager” has nothing to do with the Tragically Hip. The same way the song “Islands In The Stream” has nothing to do with Dolly Parton’s boobs. People just think about them when they hear the song. The Hip wrote a song about it, and Mill Street labelled a beer after it.

A lot of people that I talk to about this like to bring up that Mill Street is profiting off the Tragically Hip by using their likeness to the sell the beer. I have yet to see any blatant examples of this.

Here is a post I pulled from Mill Street’s Instagram page:

Mmmmmm Doritos

There are quite a few like this and admittedly the first thing I thought of when I saw this one was “Mmmmm Doritos”, beer second, and Hip third.

The former Hip said that they tried to “sort things out” with Mill Street for months but were unsuccessful. I can only speculate that “sorting it out” meant the former Hip felt entitled to some beer money or asked them to change the name of the beer. I think the use of their image to sell beer is a simple cease and desist. Looking at their social media it has already been tended to. Even the examples posted by the former Hip were confusing to fans because one was promoting the Hip’s last concert, and the other in question was posted by another Instagram account and just shared by the brewery. Not even their post.


This is where I could be swayed. If the argument was that Mill Street (not its customers) are blatantly using images of the band or Gord Downey to promote their beer then I agree with you, it’s not OK at all. They should have to remove those posts. However, if you are convinced that trademarking and naming the beer “100th Meridian Organic Amber Ale” is not OK because it makes people think of the song “At The Hundreth Meridian” by the Tragically Hip we don’t agree at all.

In fact, if the former Tragically Hip wins this lawsuit it leaves me with so many questions…

Like who is next? Little Bones Wings?

Little Bones Wings named their whole business after a Hip song. Not convinced…make sure you try their Bobcajun CLASSIC DRY(ISH) the next time you order.

Just a quick look and I found a tribute beer called “Tragically Hopped“, multiple “Fiddlers Green Restaurants“, and a beer called “Trois Pistoles” in which the description insists it gains its fans with “complex character” not the Tragically Hip. Maybe Mill Street should have gone with “100e Méridien” to avoid any backlash.

What about cover bands…ahem…”tribute bands”?

Bands” like the Incredibly Hip and Strictly Hip get to sell out shows dressing like Gord and singing his songs. They make money directly imitating the band and performing their lyrical property and nobody cares. Or do they?

Artists? Are they exempt?

If this guy makes bank going around painting murals of Gord on buildings is that OK? Should he be able to profit by painting the likeness of a Canadian Rock icon? Or does he need permission and if so from who? The former Hip doesn’t mind…

I bought this sweater on Redbubble and it’s the most expensive piece of clothing I own. I bought it because I love Gord and the Tragically Hip.

I am sure the sweater cost the artist $6 and I paid $80. The band got $0, is that OK? There are all kinds of Tragically Hip art on RB so maybe there is some kind of agreement I don’t know about. Can I make a Hip shirt and sell it online?

Would this be happening if Gord were still alive and the band was making music?

No.

Why do I care so much when I haven’t even tried the beer?

I think it’s because the Tragically Hip I know and love is gone and life will never be the same. When I see a beer label, or any tribute to the band (intentional or not) it’s a reminder of my youth growing up and I feel like that is what is being attacked. I went to all the concerts and called in sick the next day, I bought the albums and inflated merch at the shows. I genuinely supported the band for what feels like a lifetime. Throwing them in the face of everyone I could who couldn’t name a Hip song let alone get a feeling from seeing one on the side of a can.

Ironically (sorry Alanis can I say that?), it feels like the very band that gave me so much of my youth is working at taking it back. All for what seems like nothing more than recreational outrage.

It’s just so un-hip.

Ying Yang Two-Week Cycle

These numbers scare the crap out of me. 146 cases in one day in Manitoba? What happened? We were doing so well.

It seems like we got a good handle on things during code red. I know that was really hard on people, business, and education. I feel like we are headed back in that direction. When schools close you know it is bad! People are at home looking after their kids, they can’t go to work, kids and parents alike are mentally and physically taxed.

Don’t worry, last night I woke up with a migraine at 3am and as I was falling back to sleep I figured out what we have to do. I call it…

The Ying Yang Two-Week Cycle.

I propose that the Government mandates two-week cycles of “code red” shut down where EVERYONE is encouraged to stay isolated.

For those two weeks, non-essential business shuts down. Those who can work from home, work from home. No more than 10 people in the grocery store with social distancing and mask mandates in full effect. Don’t shop unless absolutely necessary for two weeks.

Schools too. Closed. Remote learning with your classroom teacher online at a set time for an hour or two each morning and afternoon on teams or zoom or whatever. Just for two-weeks at a time.

After the 2 weeks are up we go back to code orange. Business and schools back up and running following distancing protocols and mask mandates. Get your shopping done, hit up a restaurant, go for a drink with friends. Get your in-person meetings at work. Just for two-weeks.

At school kids will re-connect with teachers. Make sure any technical or device issues are taken care of so that remote learning is running smoothly in the off weeks. Focus on kids that need one on one during that time to make sure those learners are advancing. Implement plans to take work home on remote learning weeks so that parents can assist and continue those efforts at home. I like this idea much more than just shutting down suddenly for months at a time with no plan to return to the classroom to check-in. It also allows schools to put some focus on the remote learning concept instead of just winging it when their hand is forced.

Rinse and repeat these two-week cycles until the Covid numbers decline significantly or a vaccine is in place. I feel like this is a better alternative to plowing forward until we need to completely shut down again.

Without knowing what I am talking about I would think that numbers would decline simply because of incubation period (14 days) and less people spreading over the two weeks of isolation.

It gives business the chance to thrive in the two weeks they are open and makes subsidies more manageable for relief efforts. I think it would save some jobs in the long term because people could collect EI in two-week periods and work for the other two weeks. Less burden on the “system” and employers would be less likely to unload staff.

People can work from home for two-weeks and can plan to return to the office in 14 days to check in with co-workers and meet with customers. On the work from home weeks some may have kids at home to look after but at least they can rest assured that their kids are looked after and will be returning to school for the next two-week cycle.

It goes without saying that if you are sick or show symptoms during the open weeks that you should stay home. Worst case you are home for more than 14 days if you are sick in between cycles. This should take the burden off the testing stations because people will be less likely to test if they are isolating for 14 day periods. Less urgency to run out and test a runny nose or sore throat if you are not missing work or school.

I assume this plan would be more economically viable than long term closures. Minimizing subsidies and stretching out liable terms.

Of course, there will be a lot of holes in the Ying Yang plan. I don’t science, read the news, or know the politics of all of this works really but in my head, this seems like it could work. Right?

Brad Pitt Birthday

It’s taken me some time to even write about this because I am still partially at least stunned and in disbelief.

I have been working on getting a Jeep since I was about 14 years old. People would ask things like “if you won the lottery what would you buy?” and my response was always “take care of my people and a Jeep!”. Even when the kids would say “Dad, what do you want for your birthday?” the answer was always a Jeep.

Then a couple of weeks ago I was leaving hockey late at night and Sweet Len was piling his goalie equipment into his convertible Porsche. His pads in the passenger seat and bag in the mini trunk. At that moment I thought to myself, good for Len. Probably not the most sensible ride for a goalie but how many times in your life are you going to buy a Porsche? What if all we ever did was just what made sense?

The next day I went to my financial advisor and asked him to talk me out of it. Instead he asked me if I wanted to spend the next 4 years and $22,000 plus repairs into the car I am driving now that already had over $100,000km on it? With a trade in I added my payments would be likely close to what they are now!

The next step was to talk to Shan. It took some time and in the end, she came on board with some pretty significant bottom lines. I started talking to dealerships to see what I could get for my car and found I could get a decent trade value despite the mileage.

That next week I had found a 2018 Jeep Sahara at a dealership called We Sell Autos (they are crooks and I won’t even link to them) and after some back and forth they came back with a number we good with. It was the day of my birthday and I talked to Shan about getting in there to talk to the guy and she kept making excuses to wait. “Let’s sleep on it one more night…” and I gave her some sass about dragging this out. What I didn’t know was that Paul was coming in for my birthday!

It was the perfect visit and the timing could not have been better. I have been struggling a little and really needed that time with Paul. He brings me back to a simpler time. Shan arranged for Paul, and I to go to Thermea on Friday to spend the day. She even arranged for me to be off work and Al caught up to us when he was off. It was perfect.

Friday morning though we had made arrangements with We Sell Autos (crooks) to talk more and even sign off on a Jeep. Well somehow the payment that we had agreed on over the phone was up an extra $50/bi-weekly and the term had gone up by a year. I was devasted, Shan was just pissed off.

On the way home, we stopped at Murray Jeep Winnipeg on Pembina, close to confusion corner. I went in pretty hot after the experience we just had and the staff worked hard to help me out. We talked about buying new and hitting our bottom line because of the lower interest rate. I never intended to buy new but they found my Jeep in Morden.

A 2019 Jeep Wrangler Sport with 600km on it. The next day we drove to Morden and picked it up. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough that I even turned down the free gas!

I love it.

Who knows what the world will be like in 4 years. I am going to enjoy this now with my family. It’s time!

Technically I got a Jeep for my birthday…

– Brad Pitt –

Flux Capacitor

Last night Shan called me at work to let me know that the air conditioner wasn’t working. First question I asked was “what is the temperature in the house?”

“28” she said.

I called Nolan because he always has a guy. I thought maybe one of our hockey guys might be in the business.

By the time I got home, it was 30. Seemed warmer than outside actually. I checked the breaker, the thermostat, and then I had to call someone. I called Glenn Luff from East St. Paul Mechanical. I met him when my furnace died a couple of winters ago. He came highly recommended by Scott Sullivan and did a great job sorting us out. He went as far as to show me some common things that I could do the next time my furnace was acting up. Awesome guy.

Anyway Glen ran me through a few things to see what was going on over the phone. By this time it was Friday at almost 8pm. Nothing open and nothing going to be open until Monday unless you want to pay for an emergency call. He talked me through how to test the thermostat and make sure it wasn’t that. Then he showed me how to take the thermostat off and give it a little jump start using a wire or paperclip. Still nothing. At the end of the call he said to remove the disconnect so there was no power going to the unit and check the capacitor. If it looks like a can drink in the freezer (top rounding out) then it’s blown.

He was a huge help. When I got off the phone I looked “aircon capacitor” and came across one of the best how-to video’s I ever saw. I actually had to stop what I was doing and go show Shan this video:

Opening my air conditioner I could see the capacitor was blown right away and took it out. It was already 8:35PM and by the time I hit Canadian Tire and Home Depot I was almost out of options.

In my car I Googled “Capacitor Winnipeg” and a list came up and most had a big red “Closed” by the link. Apex Heating & Air Conditioning on Berrydale came up and since it was nice and close I thought I would at least call and leave a message. Someone actually answered but was already at the lake for the weekend. He asked me to send him a picture of my capacitor and said he would get back to me. On my way home he called and said he had found one in Windsor Park that I could buy. I basically went to a guy’s house and he went out to his truck and gave me the part and even showed me how to test it.

I was really impressed at how much these companies were willing to help me fix this. None of them gained from it. I even checked if what I paid for the capacitor was what they actually cost and it was less than the ones I pulled up. It made me want to do a shout out to these guys in the game.

If you need help with your air-conditioner let me know maybe I can help. If not I can put you in touch with one of these awesome companies.

Fathers Day 2020

My parents came over and I got to see my dad without a mask on for the first time in about 3 months. Of course, we have been keeping our distance in the wake of Covid-19. My parents aren’t as young as they used to be and I don’t have to go too far to feel what it’s like to be missing a parent.

My dad and I sat down and looked at some old photos I have on my computer. It was great to see him get excited about some of the family shots I have from back when he was young. There were a few of my Auntie Nancy and we talked about how much we miss her. She was a wild spirit, the second youngest of his siblings, and we all had a special connection with her.

This is my favorite. Apparently this is a Peever family vacation and it just so happens my Grandpa Vic used to travel with boxing gloves in his car (go figure). I imagine Nance was always eager to get the gloves on for a little mid-morning tilt!

Things I love about this photo:

  • My Grandpa’s shoes, damn those are sweet kicks.
  • The fact that he carries boxing gloves in his car.
  • I love how he is right into this action like he’s scoring Tyson VS Holyfield.
  • My dad in the background watching like it’s just another day at the Peever house.
  • The smile on Nancy’s face throwing that hard left.
  • My dad said she mopped the floor with this kid.

Happy Father’s day to all the great parent’s out there.

Let’s Get Physical

When I was 10 years old I received a very inappropriate text from Olivia Newton-John. I loved her in Grease (the movie) and she was my very first crush. She sent a picture of herself in some extremely tight and suggestive workout gear. She was a little bit sweaty and possibly aroused. She was almost 30 years my senior and I will never forget what she wrote:

Tom, let’s get physical!

Love, Olivia Newton-John

This photo hung on my ceiling until I was almost 15 years old and dating my first “real” girlfriend. At the time I thought of it as a harmless exchange but today, in this time of recreational outrage, I hope she never works again.


Am I a victim? I guess it’s all about perceptions. At the time I was just really excited that I got a response. I don’t remember telling her how old I was but I don’t think it mattered to her. I did write to her first, does that change your mind? Did I ask for it? I assume there are others out there like me but none have spoken up. If they did would that change your mind? Would that make her worse? Nobody was really advocating for young men back then and we didn’t have the internet to help us rise up.

This morning an article surfaced on my FB feed from a friend who posted this:

Normally I would not get into this kind of thing with a friend on FB but the mention of “cancel culture” made me wonder what D’Elia had done to motivate someone to have such an emotional response. So much that they would go against their beliefs and actually give power to cancel culture by letting people know they will no longer support D’Elia on any platform.

Well I read the article and I really didn’t see anything predatory. It looks like when CD was 30, a fan (@girlpowertbh) reached out to him on Twitter and he had a flirty conversation with her before asking her age. She claims that she was being “Groomed” by D’ Elia. When asked in another article why speak out now…

It took me a long time to realize what happened to me wasn’t just a funny joke to tell at parties. I was being preyed on, and when you’re that young, and especially when you’re talking to someone so famous, you think it’s cool and exciting. It took years until it finally clicked and I realized ‘that seemed off.

@girlpowertbh

That’s a lot like me and Olivia Newton-John but pre-internet.

I can appreciate that it took six years to make this realization. I am sure it has taken D’ Elia at least that long to navigate his rise to fame over the last 6 years in this Social Media storm. I am sure he too has grown and matured and would be very hesitant to engage with anyone of any age via text or email for this very reason. His apology states just that:

That being said, I really am truly sorry. I was a dumb guy who ABSOLUTELY let myself get caught up in my lifestyle. That’s MY fault. I own it. I’ve been reflecting on this for some time now and I promise I will continue to do better.

Chris D’Elia

I am sure CD is no saint. But when you consider the number of women this guy needs to filter on any given day I haven’t read anything that makes me consider canceling my Netflix subscription. The flirting that he did was aggressive but he did ask “can we make out?” which I thought was a grasp at consent. Also, when he asked for a photo (no mention of nudes) he was still trying to figure out how old she was and it was shortly after she refused that he stopped all contact. Some might think it was because she would not send nudes, I would argue that confirmed his suspicion that she was underage and ghosted.

I don’t really know D’ Elia so I can’t defend him, I can just voice my opinion about the facts that have been presented. I feel bad that he has just recently had a baby and one day his son will read the headlines and have to decide for himself who the victims are. I guess as a result he is a victim too.

It’s not about if I believe what @girlpowertbh is saying, it’s if I believe she is a victim. Interpretation is a dangerous thing. It’s hard to look at something without bias especially if you have been a victim yourself. I would be lying if I said the twitter handle @girlpowertbh didn’t make me roll my eyes.

They will say that I am a part of the problem because I am discounting the victims. If anything I am discounting myself because I don’t have all the facts. Chances are, neither do you.

What started this whole thing was a friend of mine announcing to FB world that they don’t believe in “cancel culture” and following up with Chris D’Elia “is disgusting and I will not support him through Netflix, youtube…”. To that I say be careful. It’s a slippery slope. Better not be listening to Drake, sucking on pudding pops, or singing “Great Balls Of Fire”. Hope you don’t wear Nike, Adidas, or have a Nintendo in your house.

Hard to go bad on Kobe after what happened to him but despite the rape charges, Kobe is still idolized in Los Angeles and around the country. His jersey was the fifth best-selling NBA jersey last year. Bryant’s deals with McDonald’s and Ferrero’s Nutella brand expired in 2003 and were not renewed. Even without those contracts, though, Bryant is still the NBA’s second-highest-paid endorser. Cancel culture is people choosing not to support what is convenient for them. The same brands that dropped Kobe when the accusations came out were climbing over each other to get him back.

NIKE was one of the few companies to stick with the athlete after he was accused of rape. 

In 1993, Michael Jackson was accused of child sexual abuse by a 13-year-old boy, Jordan Chandler. The abuse allegedly took place at Jackson’s Neverland Ranch home in Santa Barbara, California. In January 1994, Jackson settled the lawsuit made against him for $23 million, with $5 million going to the family’s lawyers.

If Michael Jackson lived on my street I probably wouldn’t let my kids walk by the Ranch but I would still have Thriller going full blast on Halloween! I don’t have all the facts but I know that man put out a couple of hits.

If Harvey Weinstein spent the last 4 months perfecting a vaccine for Covid-19 all the haters would be lining up for a day pass. The list goes on…

I believe the victims. I don’t believe in cancel culture.

Olivia Newton-John, I forgive you.